7. Lanzanotgrote

Lanzarote isn’t grotty at all! In fact we think ‘The Rock’, as the locals call it, is our favourite of the Canary islands we’ve visited. Perhaps because Arrecife was bathed in sunshine when we arrived and the gentle spread of whitewashed buildings is much lower and less imposing than in Gran Canaria and Tenerife. Apparently, all buildings have to be painted white and be no more than 3 storeys high (with the exception of the huge Gran hotel). Windows and doors can only be painted with 3 colours, too – blue to represent the ocean, brown to mimic the colours of the volcanoes, or green to symbolise the palm trees. Really pretty.

                                                     

Lots of people set off on the ‘Mountain of Fire’ excursion, to visit Timanfaya National Park and the live volcano, but we set off for the shops, hot enough in the sun. A lovely walk through the marina, but sadly only a few shops open, due to it being not only Sunday, but the Festival of San Juan, too. We found out later that there were celebrations all day on the Playa El Reducto round the bay and there were to be bonfires lit all over the island in the evening. Bought some perfume and a few other things from a shop full of gorgeous things, while D waited outside on his phone.

Back on the ship for food: it’s remarkable how the Feeding of The Three Thousand is achieved so efficiently. There are over 1500 crew on the ship and most of them seem to be in the restaurants. You can’t pause in the buffet to consider scrambled or fried without being asked ‘What do you want, Ma’am?’ They know us in the dining restaurants now and immediately take us to the wall of shame (8 tables for two at the back, for the anti social) or remove cutlery from a bigger table for us. The food, served by the 4 waiters who wait near our table arrives so quickly that D says he’s going to order then say ‘And be slow about it’.

We are grateful not to have caught The Bug, although D reckons he’s got more wind than usual. I did have ‘cabin cough’ for a few days, which is a tickly throat that causes a sudden cough, right from your boots. It’s caused by the dry air that pumps into the cabin and can develop into an infection if your neighbours have one: the same air circulates in about 8 cabins, so they can share it through the vents. Apparently, people go to extreme measures to counteract it, spraying the vent with Dettol, draping a wet towel over it - with one underneath to catch the drips - and filling their nostrils with Vaseline. I’m OK now, a bottle of rosé a night works a treat.

The other thing I’ve had is the annoyance of my brain staying on the ship while I’m on land. I don’t notice it while I’m walking, but if I stop in a shop particularly, it’s as if I’m still on the high seas, the floor is swaying.  My middle ear obviously can’t see the point of readjusting for a few hours. 

D & I really enjoyed Stephen Mulhern’s Magic Show ‘Astonishing’ last night: he was there on a video backdrop and the Headliners sang, danced and performed tricks. We were given a golden envelope containing 4 playing cards when we arrived in the theatre and later Stephen Mulhern performed a virtual trick: we tore our cards into two, shuffled them, then ended up with two halves that matched. Well, everybody’s in the theatre except D’s – he had two odd halves. Everyone was oohing and aahing and showing their complete card while D was saying ‘rubbish’.

Left Lanzarote to hit what the captain called ‘brisk winds’ and spent an uncomfortable night riding the waves. The ship bangs and clanks on high seas and it’s quite alarming; D had to keep reassuring me that there aren’t any icebergs in this part of the Atlantic. Added to that the cabin creaked and tapped all night, it was like Wuthering Heights. We were up in the early hours trying to wedge stuff into the dressing table top - to stop a constant tapping from the corner - and to make it worse, we lost an hour’s sleep. The ship has gone on to Spanish time, in readiness for Cadiz tomorrow, but thankfully the hour will be returned to us before Lisbon on Wednesday.

So Lanzarote wasn’t grotty, but we’re a bit worse for wear. Nothing a bottle of rosé won’t sort out though…